Impact of Stripping on Relationships

The Impact of Stripping and Sex Work on Relationships: Navigating Love and Work 

Hi Bohemians, and welcome back to the blog where we talk about all things sex work and beyond. Today, we’re diving into a big one: relationships. Whether it’s love, family, or friendships, sex work can definitely complicate things. So, let’s get into how to meet someone, disclose your job, maintain boundaries, and deal with loved ones while keeping your peace.

Meeting Someone New

This is by far the question I get the most. You meet someone new; you’re interested in them, but… should you tell them what you do?

Short answer: not right away. On first dates, keep things vague—say you’re in the service industry, self-employed, or a content creator. All of these statements are technically accurate, and they help you maintain control of the narrative. As you get to know the person better, look for ways to gauge their attitude toward strip clubs or sex work—mention a friend’s bachelor party or casually ask if they’ve ever been to a club. Responses typically fall into three categories: turned off, too into it, or neutral.

If someone is turned off, it might be a challenging situation and something to consider if your lifestyles don’t align. It’s easy to move on from this one quickly, but what if they fit into one of the other categories?

Men (or women) who are enthusiastic about strip clubs are typically fans, patrons, or, on rare occasions, advocates. In my experience, men who are avid clubgoers and claim to have “respect” for the industry or a favorite club they frequent raise red flags. These men often become fans at worst or sugar daddies at best (if that’s what you seek). Additionally, they tend to visit strip clubs even AFTER learning that you are a dancer. This means they will spend money on another dancer, usually at a different club, while you are working elsewhere. For me, this was never a valid dating option, but you’ve been warned. These men can also turn your job into a bragging spectacle for their friends. Awkward.

The neutral ones are gold. They usually say something like, “I respect your choice,” and change the subject because they’re more interested in you as a person than your job. That’s the energy you want. After a few dates, if things are progressing, drop it casually. “I work Friday night” can open the door. If they react poorly, that’s your cue to move on. If they say, “That’s cool, it’s your body and your choice,” that’s someone secure.

Relationships

If it turns into a real relationship, set boundaries early. Don’t let work become a mystery or a source of tension. For me, I told partners I don’t do extras (true), and I used a burner number for clients to keep things separate. Also, I never allowed partners to visit me at work—it blurs too many lines. Think Coyote Ugly, but messier.

Like any job, your work should not consume your life. Stay grounded, maintain balance, and communicate. And yes, you can vent about your job just like anyone else. The right person will not make you feel you need to compartmentalize everything.

Also see the post on how to maintain a longterm relationship as a stripper or a sex worker

Friendships

Making friends outside the club can be tricky but not impossible. Stylists, sex shop employees, nail techs, and industry-adjacent folks tend to be more accepting. Bartenders, waitresses, and other nightlife people also get it—they keep similar hours and don’t ask a ton of invasive questions.

Late-night hangouts can also be gold. Post-shift diners or 24-hour spots can become your go-to for decompression and meeting people. One tip: don’t lead with what you do. Let trust build before opening up. Think of friendship disclosure like relationship disclosure—it takes time.

And while it might be tempting, I don’t recommend befriending coworkers or other dancers from your club. Work is work. Mixing business and personal life in the club can get complicated quickly—competition, gossip, blurred boundaries, etc.

Family Dynamics

Now for the heavy one—family. If you’ve only danced once or twice, don’t say a word. There’s nothing to gain. For long-timers, coming out is deeply personal. I hid it from my family for years, and when I finally told them, they already suspected something.

Some family members may become overly curious about your income or try to guilt you into giving financial help. This is why I kept it to my immediate family only. If you live with family or expect a volatile reaction, it might not be worth disclosing at all—especially if your safety or mental health is at risk.

If you do decide to come out, bring a trusted friend or partner for support. It helps to have someone in your corner. It’s challenging but can be easier than keeping a secret and continually lying about it.

Navigating relationships as a sex worker can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Trust and timing are crucial, whether in dating, friendship, or family dynamics. It is not necessary to provide unrestricted access to your personal life—choose to share when you feel comfortable and with individuals who have earned your trust.

Not every interaction will go well. But the right people will respect your choices and your boundaries. Your job doesn’t define you, and anyone who judges you for it isn’t worth keeping around.

Stay safe, stay empowered, and remember—it’s your story to tell.

Love & glitter,

BW