Club Hack: How to Deal with Rejection
“Thank you next!!”
Hi strippies! Today I’m going to give some tips about dealing with rejection. Since I don’t dance anymore but still work in sales, I do unfortunately still have to deal with rejection from potential clients sometimes. Luckily, stripping has given me a very thick skin when it comes to rejection and usually it doesn’t bother me. However, today for some reason it really did get under my skin and I wanted to just take a moment and share some tips for how to get over that icky rejected feeling and not let the job get to you.
1. Don’t take it personal: The first tip I have today is that you shouldn’t take things personal when it comes to sales. Of course, being directly client facing and having a potential client say they don’t want to do business with you (i.e. buy a lap dance or VIP table or even a drink for chrissakes) does hurt. But the one thing to keep in mind is that THEY DON’T KNOW YOU. AT. ALL. These patrons or clients, saw you, maybe talked to you for a few minutes and then decided for one reason or another that you weren’t the right fit for them at that moment. This isn’t an attack on you as a person or your character or what you look like. This is just them for whatever reason deciding something in their mind that really has nothing to do with you. This was one of the hardest things I had to deal with when I was younger. Of course, we want everyone to like us, it’s genetically programmed in our DNA. But the problem is that sometimes people don’t like you and that is OKAY. Just remind yourself, they don’t know you therefore it doesn’t matter if they do or don’t.
2. Change your settings: Another thing to try and do is obviously move around and get out of your head. It’s so easy to go back to the dressing room and be pissed or sad (in my case). This is not helpful. Go to the dressing room but maybe change your outfit. Maybe go sit at the bar and talk to someone else. Maybe take yourself upstairs to an empty VIP room and have a moment. Or sometimes I would just put my clothes on and go outside for a second. Usually getting some fresh air out of club would change my perspective. At least I would be able to have a cigarette in peace. Then go back in and finish the shift.
3. Listen to music: This one is kind of hard to do in the club but if you have headphones go back and listen to my all-time Jay-Z favorite, “On to the Next One”. It gets me pumped enough to remember that there are as he says, “a million ways to get it” – and move on to the next client. I’m sure you can find your own jam to listen to that makes you feel like a badass and that there are literally a roomful of other clients just waiting and wanting you to sit with them.
4. Talk to a friend: Now sometimes this is good or bad. You don’t want to talk to a friend that is going to get all fired up or depressed with you. You want to talk to someone who will just listen and tell you how amazing you are (because you are!) Maybe another friend who works with you or even the manager (if they are worth a shit) might give you a little pep talk or at least buy you a shot.
5. Get back on that lap: Now that you’ve talked to your friend, had your shot from the manager, changed outfits and listened to your pump-up jam - it’s time to get back on the proverbial horse. This means the easiest way to deal with rejection is to get back out there and make some money. Sit with the first guy you see, I would give myself a 5 lap goal and then I would take another break. 5 different laps to sit on – spoiler alert – I never got to #5. I typically would have lap #2 or #3 be interested in spending some time and money on me. The best feeling is when you pass that broke ass who rejected you on your way to VIP and you can give him a smug smile on your way up the stairs.
6. Do a stage rotation: I understand that sometimes you’re just over it. Over men, over the club, and still can’t ward off that icky feeling. Get on stage. For me I love the attention and being able to watch my badass self in the mirror. Talk about a confidence booster if someone comes and makes it rain on you.
7. Think of how far you’ve come: I’m not going to say be grateful and all that other stuff. But you have probably come pretty far from point A to point B and you should be proud of yourself. Stripping is not an easy job, especially when dealing with rejection but you have put in those hours, spent time to get yourself ready and maybe even waxed (ahhh) and all of that deserves some recognition. You got out of bed and put yourself out there (half naked) in a way that some people only dream about. You are bad bitch for just stepping foot inside the club. Don’t forget that.
Yes, this does sound easy reading it but I understand that it is not always as easy as it sounds. But seriously, this job comes with rejection pretty much built into it. Every dancer has had to deal with a client saying not interested (even the hottest ones). It’s definitely not you, and guess what else: you’ll never see them again! Poof at the end of the night they are just gone. They were a temporary annoyance and you can move past it just as easily as they rejected you. Besides it may have been what the universe wanted anyway (what if they were broke, handsy, crazy or all three) you may have dodged a headache in the long run.
Just take each rejection as a rite of passage it happens to everyone and just move on to the next one!
Love and glitter,
BW
