Autism and Sex Work; Stripping on the Spectrum
Hi Bohemians, long time no share because I have been going through it. I’ve made a ton of self-discoveries this summer which means great things for content. My main disclosure today is about autism spectrum disorder and how it influences, attracts, is detrimental to, and has advantages for those working with ASD & in the sex industry. My specific experience speaks to exotic dancing. Long story short, what it’s like being an autistic stripper.
This is not me lol
Autism in sex work can be seen as an asset if you have high functioning and a tolerance for a highly stimulating environment. My type of autism allows me to dissociate in overwhelming stimulatory spaces. I enjoy being around high-stim environments, they don’t bother me. I don’t mind talking to people if I don’t have to get too deep. And if shit would get bad, I had a plethora of drugs and alcohol to numb any overwhelm and get back to work. It was easy to dissociate with clients and forget their faces the next day. I would remember their stories and that made me an asset with regular clients. Landing them was easy as long as I could remember a few key facts.
That all being said, I was undiagnosed when I was dancing and have now as a dancer in retirement made all the connections about ASD. I figured out this environment helped more than hurt my autistic way of moving around the world. In the following list, I’ll go into the pros and cons of having autism or neurodivergence and working in sex work. Then I’ll also share some tips on how to use ASD to your advantage at the club. (Please don’t think of It as a bad thing, and perhaps, ASD strippers probably have a higher success rate - research pending lol).
ASD in Stripping
Yes, I was an undiagnosed dancer with ASD, and as I investigated the very limited research on the topic. I was intrigued that this subset of neurodivergent people can be very successful in the sex industry. Here’s why:
ADVANTAGES
1. It offers flexible work hours and a schedule
2. It allows for “boss” and “workplace” flexibility with customers and a variety of different clubs.
3. Limited shifts make masking for a short period easy with plenty of time to rest after
4. Alcohol and drugs can make it easier to cope with some of the overstimulating environment of the club.
5. Having regular clients can make the shifts more predictable
6. The environment is always the same so once you’re used to it each shift becomes easier.
7. Dissociating and masking can become your friends, and you should use them in the club if it’s not too draining. I didn’t mind masking in the club because I could be a different person for a little while. Yes it can be exhausting and it was sometimes for me. But I always justified the money and the time I would have over the next few days to recover.
8. ASD individuals might not interpret those negative energies the same way. My customers would love to come to see me because I could always cheer them up and it felt good. I didn’t take a bad attitude as it was personal and would use it to make a connection with the client and try to turn their vibes positive.
9. Large amounts of money for not very long hours make it easy for ASD individuals to justify putting themselves in that environment. I know that for me waking up next to a wad of cash was always justification for masking all night.
10. It might be easier to show affection in cases where others would be uncomfortable. Because we are so good at masking and making others feel comfortable we can show them compassion and affection which equals more money.
However, there are some downsides:
DISADVANTAGES
1. Just as mentioned above it might be harder for you to pick up on social cues, like when a client is mad, or a co-worker is jealous of you. Try to navigate this by having one good friend, DJ, or manager at the club who can help you navigate strip club politics.
2. Clients may try to take advantage of you. They can see your fake persona as a weakness or if you do try and be vulnerable, they could use it against you. Keep all clients 5 feet away (not literally) but don’t get attached, involved, or share anything about your personal life. It will not help you to tell them you have ASD.
3. If you have a bad night, it can be hard to turn it around. With ASD the repeating thoughts or stimming can become too much when in an overstimulating environment. Take a break in your car or the dressing room, if all else fails leave the club altogether.
4. You can start to identify your worth with how much money you make which is very damaging. You are not what you make, and each shift is going to be different. The key is consistency and not just trying to bank in one night.
5. It can be exhausting having to mask at work for a long shift.
6. Over-sensory meltdowns happen in two ways, one getting mad at the client or two getting way too intoxicated. I know to cope sometimes with sensory overload I would drink too much and pass out in the dressing room so I didn’t have to cope anymore and could wait until the club closed and sleep it off. Not many other jobs allow this type of behavior in the middle of a shift.
7. No benefits, no health insurance, no PTO. So, because it’s a contractor job, another thing to consider is that there are no workplace benefits that might be offered at another job. Even if you don’t disclose your ASD status, most other places of employment do offer health insurance and paid time off. The club has none of these safer and predictable things in place. For ASD dancers, this might be hard because sometimes other health problems happen that you can’t pay for and then also can’t go to work because of.
8. You won’t be able to use this experience on your resume. Please just don’t list it.
9. You might freeze up or zone out when overstimmed. This is problematic because it may make you look or feel disengaged. Try to stay in the present moment and remind yourself the shift will be over soon.
Try to follow these if you are neurodivergent and working in the strip club:
TIPS FOR THE CLUB
1. Don’t think of it as masking, think of it as acting as a character or playing a role for your client. They don’t know you and that’s the beauty of it. They will never have any idea you are autistic.
2. Don’t tell anyone your ASD status if you can help it. This will not help you here. The only girls I knew who would work with a disability were deaf. That was an interesting dynamic but it’s different because of the ASD stigma. You want to be always seen as attractive. This could deter that fantasy for some men at best and get you fired from the club at worst.
3. Try not to get too fucked up at work. It’s hard I know; the clients are annoying and all you want to do is to stop thinking about them or all the other 1000 thoughts in your head. Booze will help. Some drugs would help me be more outgoing and friendly, but I don’t recommend any of them. Enough to be social and in moderation. Unless you are having a meltdown (see above).
4. Make friends with one of the people at the club. You must have one person you can trust, bartender, waitress, VIP girl, manager, door girl. I would not pick that person to be another stripper. They will try and fuck you over 9/10.
5. Try sensory jewelry like spinning rings if you feel the need to stim. Also, bring some headphones for the back of the club when you need a break, or you can get flesh-colored earplugs to alleviate some of the intense sounds. I liked these when I would go on stage where it was super loud.
6. Try to get regular clients (see my post on how HERE). This will make your shifts more predictable and easier to accommodate. I hated going into shifts where I didn’t know someone would be stopping by to visit me later. It gave me a sense of stability and something to look forward to.
7. Pick an outfit you love and wear it over and over. The last thing you want to mess with during a shift is an itchy tag or something that doesn’t fit.
8. Know when you have had enough and take advantage and leave early, say you have cramps.
Hope these tips help neurodivergent and neurotypical dancers but from my experience, it can be a huge asset in the industry. It allows us to keep our distance, compartmentalize, and make money at the same time. The flexible work hours and locations make it easy for ASD dancers to pick and choose when and where they want to work. This allows for escape from toxic work environments and flexibility. All these conveniences do come at a cost like no health insurance. Follow some of my other posts on how not to live shift to shift and get regular clients!
As a newly diagnosed ASD person, I found myself so grateful that I found this industry when I was undiagnosed, and it allowed me to make money and have fun at the same time.
Love & Glitter,
BW
*Disclaimer this is not all people or a diagnostic tool*
